The guards allow Mazus to enter the kingdom to find Lucia and to figure out how to help the kingdom. The maid in the palace says that Lucia is at the Valley of the Dolls and the King is at a neighboring kingdom asking for reinforcements. Mazus learns that the Valley of the Dolls is a place where the Soul Eater Rune lies. The Soul Eater, with the combined power of the Purity Ring, can kill Peshmerga by turning him into stone.
Mazus sets off to the Valley of the Dolls to find Lucia. He finds her at the entrance because the only way in was to possess the Ring of Purity. This was so that only a person who was worthy enough to obtain the ring could enter the valley. Mazus then gains entrance and grabs the Soul Eater Rune from its platform to use against the threat of Peshmerga. They start feeling the Earth shake as Mazus removes the rune from the pedestal. Both Mazus and Lucia run outside to see the sky turn grey. They can also see the mountain from the island where the god lives start to move and stand up. Mazus and Lucia realize that the mountain itself is the god. Peshmerga knows that the rune has been removed and knows that it will be used against him.
When Mazus and Lucia return to Sette Diavoli, they see that whole kingdom is in chaos with people running everywhere. When the crowd sees Lucia, they rush over, grab her and run toward the palace. Mazus doesn’t know why the crowd grabs her until the maid at the palace says that Peshmerga would stop his attack if the kingdom sacrifices her. Mazus follows the crowd to the top of the palace where they tie her to be sacrificed. From his island, the god approaches the palace getting ready to strike. The Earth quakes with every footstep Peshmerga makes, as he gets closer to Sette Diavoli. As he is mere feet away from Lucia, Mazus inserts the Ring of Purity in the Soul Eater Rune and throws it at the raging god, combining their powers and stopping him in his tracks. Peshmerga realizes how powerful the immense power of the ring and rune hold when combined together and retreats back. However, at that moment, his body starts to feel heavy as he turns to stone. He then starts to break apart with the weight and crumbles to the ground.
The people know at that moment that the kingdom is safe again and cheer through the streets. Mazus hikes through the rubble to examine the now-dead god and notices that the ring and rune are still connected. He picks up the connected pieces of the ring and rune and stashes it away in his pocket and turns toward the palace. Once he gets there he is greeted by the king. The king thanks him for saving the kingdom and asks Mazus to stay. Mazus responds with a thank you but he still wants to continue his journey. Lucia is very grateful that he saved her and decides to accompany him on his journey. Both Mazus and Lucia depart from Sette Diavoli Kingdom to journey to another land.
Author’s Note:
This plot was taken from Ovid's Metamorphosis and the settings, characters, and artifacts were taken from my previous Storytelling post. My goal was to expand on Mazus’ journey and add to it so hopefully by the end I can have a whole list of stories about one universe.
From Ovid's Metamorphosis, I chose the story of Perseus and Andromeda. The original story is about Perseus, a demigod. He tells the story about how he took the enchanted head of Medusa to defeat the Titan Atlas. I focused on the part where Perseus takes the head of Medusa and turns Atlas into stone to save Andromeda. A fun fact is that there really are mountain ranges in Africa called the Atlas Mountains inspired by Ovid’s Metamorphosis. The original story has Perseus telling a story about how he defeated Atlas, but I changed it so that he was doing it.
In my story, I took an artifact from my previous story and gave it more of a purpose in this one. The Soul Eater Rune came from a video game I played a long time ago and felt like it fit since it was used to kill. The Sette Diavoli Kingdom is translated as Seven Devils Kingdom in Italian but has no real history. I just took it from a song of the same name by Florence and the Machine. The name Peshmerga came from the Kurdish soldiers fighting against ISIS. Even though they are not the enemy, I liked the name as it means "he who faces death" in Kurdish. This might foreshadow something about Mazus in future chapters.
Atlas in the Mythology, Peshmerga in my story. Source: Wikimedia
Book: Ovid's Metamorphosis
Author: Ovid (translated by Tony Kline)
Published: 2000
Wow! I love how you are connecting your stories together! I think it is a great idea and I think it's a fantastic way to show how you will grow as a writer over the semester.
ReplyDeleteSince I read one of your previous stories, I can definitely see improvement. The story flows much better than the last on I read and there were much fewer grammar mistakes! I will point out that you have a spelling mistake in the title, however. It wouldn't bother me so much, but since it's in big bold letters, it kind of stands out!
I look forward to reading more of your stories this semester!
I have not read any of your previous stories but I think it is really creative of you to tie them together. I was slightly confused at parts because there were items or jargon that had no explanation with them but it made sense once I read your authors note at the end. In this case since you are tying stories together I think it might be beneficial to put your authors note at the front so the reader has some background information. Other than that good job!
ReplyDeleteHey, Kha,
ReplyDeleteI really love how you expanded on a previous storytelling post in order to create one big universe! Although I see that this is from Week 3, I hope that you continue to expand on it. You write really well and with concise language. You paint a vivid picture that seems well thought out. Again, I hope you continue with this! Thank you for sharing!
Hey Kha,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story to read! The opening paragraph hooked me into the rest of the story and I loved all of it. You were so creative to mesh multiple different ideas and stories all into one big story that intermingled together. Expanding on the original story is always a great idea because there are many times when I read a story that I want to know more about what happened to the main characters or even some of the background information that they fail to mention. So great job on including that for the reader!
Also, the transitions were great and the story really flowed. The only thing I would have done differently if I were rewriting the story would be to make it a little more relatable to the reader. In my opinion, I love stories that I can easily read instead of stumbling on hard names and such, but other than that, I thought the story was wonderful. Great job!
Hi Kha,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I just wanted to say that I really like your blog layout. I really like the ombre fade of the orange color. Wow, I love that you created your own character and incorporated the unit’s theme to expand on his journey. That is so creative! I do wish there was a bit more character development. I feel like the only thing I really know about Mazus is that he is a black knight. It would be cool if you created a backstory for him in the next story. I also noticed that you switched in between past and present tense at certain times. Over all I think you did a fantastic job on expanding your story. Your use of descriptive words made it easy to visualize the setting and the actions of the characters. I can see a pretty big difference between your first story and this one. Can’t wait to read more!
Hi there Kha!
ReplyDeleteI very much enjoyed reading your story this week! I read the first story of Mazus’ journey and this one fit very well as a continuation. I truly liked the plot too! It was so intriguing to read and it had my attention throughout the whole story.
I like that your story is in the present tense as well. It makes me feel like I’m watching everything happen as it is unfolding. It was really interesting to find out that the mountain was the god. I noticed from your Author’s Note that I had read the original story from Ovid’s Metamorphosis as well. It was so cool to see how you took that story and made it your own. I feel like you did a great job of using the original story as your inspiration. Your writing seems to be in really good shape too.
I didn’t really find any major mistakes or anything. It could have been a nice addition to have monologue from the characters but I still think the way you wrote your story was awesome!
Hi, Kha. Really great job on this story. I really enjoyed reading it and thought it was really interesting. I think your take was so creative and really added nice detail to the story. I enjoyed reading it and I really liked your take on the story. Your descriptive language really helped me envision the story and added great detail. I really enjoy reading your stories and the detail you add. I look forward to reading more stories and using more detail like you do in my own stories. I didn’t native anything wrong or any mistakes with your story. You did a very good job and made it very interesting to read. I really enjoy reading your story before and think your really adding more to your stories and making them more interesting. I look forward to reading more stories in the future. Good luck with the rest of the semester.
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